In my last post, I shared how not every flower we love will thrive in our gardens. Some just aren’t meant for our soil, our sun, or our climate, and no amount of care will change that. It’s a tough lesson for gardeners, but also a gentle reminder that life often works the same way. Just as certain flowers won’t flourish no matter how much we try, sometimes the people we love, especially our adult children, need to grow in places and ways that don’t always match the vision we had for them.
In the garden, it’s easy to see which flowers belong and which are just struggling to survive. The ones suited to the soil, sunlight, and climate grow strong and full, while the ones that don’t quite fit look scraggly, wilted, and disappointing, no matter how much care we give them. It’s not that they’re “bad,” they just aren’t in the right place to truly thrive.
Parenting adult children feels a lot the same. When they were small, we could guide, prune, and plant seeds in their lives. But as they grow, they choose their own places to root. Sometimes those choices aren’t what we expected or hoped for. And while it’s tempting to try to “replant” them into what we think is better, just like in the garden, growth can’t be forced.
The truth is, our children flourish best when they’re in the environment that fits who they are, not who we imagined they’d be. Our role shifts from directing their growth to watching, supporting, and appreciating the unique blooms that come when they’re planted in the right place. And sometimes, the results are even more beautiful than we could have imagined.
Growth can’t be forced, sometimes the most beautiful thing we can do is bloom where we’re planted.


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